the dog days are over

This summer I believe the Universe challenged me. That is what I will say anyway, when I look back on it. It seemed just when I thought I was pushed down, I was kicked while I lay there on the floor. It made for a different version of myself. A woman who didn't always know what to do or say, (and I always have something to say) or if I was making the right decisions (and I almost always believe I am right). I kept waiting for summer to end. As if the leaves changing color would bring about a change in my luck. But before I give this time period of my life the final kiss goodbye,(which I am doing this week) I decided to pull a complete 180 on my grudge with it. This is what I am choosing to take away from it instead:

For my last weekend of the season, I have a beautiful wedding that I am so excited for. I get to witness two people get married who I have known since they started dating (and I shot gunned my invite to the wedding). I have a royal blue sari to wear, a hennah tattoo to look forward to, and tons of vegetarian Indian food to eat up. What a great kick off to labor day weekend, and how fortunate that they booked this upcoming weekend and not the one that just passed. Irene really could have been a wet blanket on such a joyous occasion.

(me and my best gals braving the hurricane in an irish bar, with live irish music. A nyc hurricane/evacuating my apartment and fleeing to brooklyn with amazing friends. The reason why summer 2011 was unique)



Being that I was out of work this summer, I had a lot of time to spend alone, sit in the park, attempt to get a tan, or...hop on the train to head home. While long island is full of great beaches, I had a way better reason to head out east. And with no work to be at, I was able to spend a lot more time out there these last two months with my friend and her new family. I even got to go on a 10 day vacation with them in Pennsylvania.

(Brianna Michelle born June 18th. The one reason why Summer 2011 was an absolute miracle).






My birthday is in July. And while this birthday really freaked me out admittedly so, I sure did enjoy showering others with birthday love. A bunch of my friends celebrated birthdays as well, and I spent hours baking in my kitchen for all the special occasions. Sometimes, it was no ones birthday, and I baked anyway. During times of madness, one could say butter and sugar are therapeutic. I swear there were times when I was certain my friends would find me in my kitchen, surrounded by cupcake liners with flour on my nose. "She's finally lost it" they'd say.

The doormen in my building have received so many cakes/cookies/cupcakes from me, that I think they are beginning to doubt whether I actually am a nutrition student.

(Baking for myself, but more importantly others. The reason why summer 2011 was delicious).



I was six years old when I moved to my hometown. One of my first play dates there was with a girl in my first grade class, and her cousin Rich. Rich and I would grow up to be great friends. I would sit in his living room while him and my other best friend Mark would rehearse their band for school shows. We went trick or treating together. Went off to prom weekend together. And when we were 19 Rich told us he was going to become a priest. This past June, I watched my friend who made me laugh, inspired me, and always got me through forensics class, become an ordained priest. During the church services I sat next to Mark. I couldn't help but think how different all of our lives had become; how much we've grown up. But I love them exactly the same today as I did when I was 15. They are just the best. And my goodness do those two make me laugh. I am so lucky to still have them in my life, even if we don't get to see each other every day anymore.



(Watching Rich take on the priesthood. The reason Summer 2011 gave me goosebumps).







I guess when I look back on this time, I will say this summer was Organic. Like a piece of organic fruit: It was unadulterated, flawed, but full of goodness in one way or another. I am still excited for fall though. Even though the summer had some things to be proud of, I am ready to return to having more control over my life. I have new classes to look forward to, apple crisps to bake, football facts to learn, and weekends to hopefully go apple picking or frolick in a pumpkin patch. I love this upcoming time of year, and I am actively choosing to not harp on the summer of challenges and sadness; no no, I cannot taint the fall season like that.




“For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - "real life". But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way".- Fr. Alfred D'Souza

"when everything is out, you gotta take it in"

After two weeks without yoga due to time frolicking in the woods taking part in pudding eating contests, last night I returned to my safe haven on St Marks. I felt like the Tin Man who needed to be oiled; it had been too long since I stretched into downward dog. Yoga has played an integral role in my health over the last year and even more so in the last few months. Allow me to share my class with you tonight, and explain just how much this practice is doing for me these days. I am still very much a beginner, but I love how much I have to look forward to in working towards my new found goals.

There are so many reasons why I began going to class, and after I started practicing I came up with a whole other list of reasons to stay with it. Physically it is helping me maintain flexibility which I started rapidly losing once I stopped dancing. It is also helping to make sure my hips (which are a mess from years of dance) are able to be rehabilitated. It helps relieve the tension I carry in my neck, my posture, my alignment, and most importantly keeps my tush lifted and my arms toned. Yoga does my body good. Mentally, it trains me to leave my problems and worries on the “outside of my mat” for the 60 minutes during class, therefore giving my brain a break as well. This is hard to do and takes an insane amount of effort from me to keep thoughts out of my head and focus only on poses and breathing. The benefits though are incredible. After not thinking of my troubles for an hour, I feel as if I lost weight when class is over. I actually feel lighter. My head feels happy. And the more I practice, the closer I feel myself becoming able to actually meditate. Meditating is something I always assumed would never be possible for me. When I lie down and close my eyes I see my grocery list, my pile of laundry, and assignments that are due at school. Then I start going down the list of obligations:
“need to buy that congratulations card for the “so and so”s for their new baby girl. Must write check out for Time Warner Cable before end of day. Need a new metro card. How much money do I want to put on the metro card? Is an unlimited worth it for me? I haven’t left the upper east side all summer. Maybe that’s the problem. I am going to buy an unlimited metro card tonight and then spend the rest of my summer exploring the east and west village via public transportation.” I mean really. Stop talking Jessica. But I am getting much much better these days at shutting that girl up during yoga, and it’s making me really, really happy.

Tonights class was perfect. The moment class started as I sat there on my mat, my hips feeling tighter than ever, the most intense thunderstorm began outside. There I was in a room with 60 people, a wonderful instructor, beautiful music playing, and a thunderstorm to orchestrate the whole thing. The room was dark and three perfect windows allowed us to watch the grey skies and rain hit on its side from the wind. Our instructor says “allow your outside thoughts to disappear for now, focus on the rain, focus on the thunder, and focus on waking up your body”. I pictured myself on a megaphone waking my body up, and I could almost hear the creaking noises as my ankles rotated and my wrists began to hold my body in a push up position.

Early in the hour is one of my favorite parts of class. The “chair” pose. In this pose you keep your toes and knees facing forward, feet hip distance apart, and you squat to a low level where it appears you are sitting in a tiny, invisible chair. Stretching your arms up over your head, widening your fingers, and tilting your head towards the sky; this position becomes heated very quickly. The class is often heard making noises, breathing deeply, or laughing as we all are shaking and ready to fall to the floor. During this part I think to myself “you love this pose. This pose has allowed you to pee in public bathrooms easily without ever having to touch the seat. This pose is what helps you reach those goals for your lifted, toned, grab-able tush. If you quit early on this pose, you are quitting on your tush”.
And then I laugh. By the time I entertain myself with that thought, the instructor tells us we can drop to the floor.

The class gradually becomes more difficult. We are asked in our push up position to lower ourselves 2/3 of the way and hold it. Here comes more moans, and I can hear my sweat hitting my mat. It makes a "tap" sound. Instructor says (in a very inspirational tone of voice) “if you are unable to do this part, then go into childs pose that is OK. This is your class and you have the right to feel motivated the entire time, but remember you must practice on motivating yourself because I won’t always be here”.
You see, yoga does not just physically and mentally train me; it gives me a moment like that where a giant light bulb over my head is turned on by wise words of a 20 something instructor at a donation based yoga studio in the East Village. I believe her. So as the next bead of sweat drips into my left eye, I go back down into my half push up and hold it there. Until I fall. And I am OK with falling. It means I tried until the end.

The most challenging part of class for me is the “pigeon” pose, which is meant to open your hips. My hips are in so much pain, and they certainly cannot do what they were asked to do 10 years ago for competition dancing. We are expected to sit in this pose for some time, and bring our focus back to relaxing and breathing. My awesomely wise instructor continues to motivate:
“During class you may have had moments where your mind slipped again into thoughts of what you are doing after class, or what you need to do tomorrow morning, or what may be bothering you these days. Take this time to bring it back, even if you have to say to yourself “I am inhaling, 1..2..3..4..I am exhaling, 1..2..3..4, I am inhaling 1..2..3..4..”

So that is what I did. I started saying to myself over and over again that I was inhaling and exhaling. It helped. It temporarily chased away my side thoughts that had been creeping into my time on my mat. I spend every other minute of every other day with an over active brain. If I don’t put it to rest during yoga, then it doesn’t get put to rest that week. This is a very important goal of mine, to be able to put my over active brain on hold. I make it through pigeon, and we close with some ab work before going into our final position of rest. The storm lasted the entire class. In fact, I even walked to the subway after in the rain. I went home, baked a batch of “lemonade cupcakes”, showered, and went to bed. I feel like I did something good for myself tonight, and I am happy I marched myself downtown for it.

I leave for you the song that was playing in class as the thunderstorm rolled by, and I sat in my pigeon pose working on my hips. It is a beautiful version of “I want to hold your hand”, and I had a picture perfect moment with it in class.
In good health,
Namaste <3

It really is the most important meal of the day!

Studies show that those who eat breakfast every day are more successful with weight loss and weight management than those that don’t. But even with the "proof in the pudding", there are people out there who believe skipping the breaking of the fast is one way to cutting down calories and therefore cutting down on weight. Let it be told here on this blog, that our bodies are much more efficient in doing their job when they are receiving the nutrients they need to function, consistently.
Skipping meals is so ten years ago.
One reason why eating breakfast may be linked to weight control is that the hunger and dissatisfaction from not eating in the morning can lead to a feeling of deprivation, and therefore poor nutrition choices throughout the rest of the day including at lunch and dinner. Those who eat breakfast have not only reported feeling satisfied throughout the day, they are more likely to have healthy balanced meals and to maintain an exercise program. Remember that this does not mean pastries for breakfast. Donuts, bagels, and other breakfasts high in fat and sugar are full of "empty calories" which will give you caloric intake, but no nutrients to better your health or keep you feeling full. They are in fact, a waste of numbers. The true benefits of breakfast come from meals high in protein and whole grains.

Benefits to eating breakfast every day include:
Weight loss/Weight control
Kick starting your metabolism
Improved concentration for the days work
More likely to have a complete diet balanced in all macro and micro nutrients
Lower cholesterol levels

I encourage you to start your day with a variety of crafty meals, packed with nutrients of course so you get more bang for your buck. To help get you started, here is one recipe already done for you. This meal is high in fiber, vitamins, and "good" carbohydrates. Oh, and with the small amount of dark chocolate, you can shout in the name of antioxidants and not feel guilty so soon after the alarm goes off. There is fiber in the oats (which keep you feeling full and keep your colon clean), vitamins in the fruit (to protect your immune system) and enough Carbohydrates to protect your brain and give your body the energy it needs to sit at your desk for the day ahead. Give it a go. And don't forget: Consistent breakfasts packed with nutrients will help you function better at work, keep you in a good mood, and keep your metabolism moving at a pace you prefer.

Banana Split Oatmeal
Cook a 1/2 cup of dry old-fashioned one-minute oats with water (to desired consistency) and top with 1/4 cup strawberries, 1/4 cup sliced banana, 1 Tbsp semisweet dark chocolate chips, and 2 Tbsp almonds. Total Calories = 359


(don't like strawberries or banana? try blueberries and kiwi, apples and cinnamon, or any other fruit combination your heart yearns for).

Now go off into the world. Your stomach is thanking you for not forgetting about it so early in the day.

“I am a vegetarian, I’m sorry”

Why is it whenever I leave the city I find myself saying those words? I forget what a freak I am considered outside my borough. After being away for the last 10 days I am home again, in my comfy bed, and snacking on a cup of mixed berries. My experience in the woods has once again left me happy, yet laughing quite a bit over how many people I made uncomfortable during meal times. These experiences inspired me to write. It was family vacation time. Not my biological family, but a family that is very much a part of my so important world. I am the complete opposite of all of them, making me the perfect “adopted child”. With 8 adults, tons of friends, and a 7 week old baby; we spent our time competing in games, dancing, boating, listening to acoustic music on the lake, and well….eating.
Here at home I am the only vegetarian of all my friends, and yet it doesn’t seem to be an issue when we eat out. Everyone knows I don’t eat meat, no questions are really asked anymore, and I don’t smell bacon and run out of a room gagging…I am pretty easy to be around as a carnivore. So it always cracks me up when I get a somewhat new audience, or when a waiter gets that nervous look on his face. This always tends to happen when I am no longer in the city of vegan, raw, macrobiotic, or vegetarian fusion restaurants. Here in PA, our waiter comes over to give us our dinner choices.
“we have a champagne chicken served over wild rice, a pork tenderloin, or the tilapia. We also have all of our daily options, beef angus burgers, childrens chicken tenders, French fries, and some vegetables will come out to the table family style”.

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m a vegetarian”
Waiter: “we have pasta?”

Why do I apologize? Honestly, I don't really know. I become nervous sometimes (especially when eating at someones house) because I know once I share this fact about myself, some will become stressed. I don't want to stress someone out over my dinner plate. Really, it is not a big deal to me. Which is why sometimes if I can get by, I don't share the information at all. Should I apologize? Again, I don't really know. I shouldn't have to apologize for a lifestyle choice of mine that doesn't hurt anyone, but I apologize because I want the person to know that I am OK with the fact that meat is all around. I'm just trying to make the scene a comfortable one. People, this may sound dramatic but I kid you not. The meat eaters and vegetable eaters often have awkward moments together.

So this brings me to my next observation. After I utter the horrid words to the new audience, my top three responses are as follows:
1.Oh really? What do you eat!?
2.Wow, How do you get your protein?
3.From the waiter/waitress….”we have pasta?”

And these are my answers, my dear meat eating friends:
1.I eat the food that comes from the remaining 4 food groups. Meat only takes up one of those little slots in the pyramid you know.
2.Americans are overdosing on protein. I get mine from peanut butter, eggs, beans, lentils, cheese and quinoa. And yes, it is possible to overdose on protein. I am more concerned about my B12 as a vegetarian, which is the only (only) vitamin that is solely available through red meat. Currently I take a B12 supplement each morning. Also currently, I am not deficient in any vitamins or minerals, I have been checked by the doc.
3.Pasta is great…but I don’t need to rely on it in order to be full. I eat tons of different meals with a variety of ingredients every day. Becoming a vegetarian does not mean the bagel & pasta diet. Also Mr. Waiter…stop looking so scared. I do not sit in my room sucking on lettuce. I am a normal (eh, maybe I shouldn’t push it) girl.

I encountered a similar experience while I was traveling in Ireland. Land of the beef stew, I was given multiple perplexed looks when I asked for a cheese and tomato sandwich every day instead. At home I feel so welcomed and accepted when I sit at a restaurant and order the sweet potato casserole dish (my favorite at Candle Café, it is served with steamed greens, black beans, and a vegan country gravy). But I think I forget that us veggie loving “tree huggers” as we are called, are often the minority group once we leave our nest. People are nervous around us, and they believe on some level….that we are always starving. How do I convince those around me that I am actually full off of a vegetarian meal? Years of practice!

But really, whenever I travel, whether it is to Ireland or a few states over; I am prepared to spend days eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, cheese and tomato, and lots of pasta! When I return home, I go right back to my freakish ways of sautéed kale, quinoa salad, and bowls of berries. What can I say? Love me for who I am. A happy and outgoing vegetarian. I do not eat meat. I like to dance. And new to my list: I can successfully feed, burp, and sing to a 7 week old baby. Yes, I sang. She is too young to tell me I am not that great.
Manhattan I missed you, lets wrap this summer up.
Love from back home
Jess

"well she was an American girl"

I love the city. I love love love it. Over the last 8 years I have developed into a woman who knows not what “closed on Sundays” means. I go to free museums, central park is my backyard, and on a Friday night you could easily spot me in a French restaurant which has live jazz music on St Marks place (it’s a tiny spot, but I do love the vibe). In these dog days of summer though, one of the best parts about living in the city is the weekend routine of leaving it. The tall buildings here trap heat with no breeze. And when people become anxious about getting on a stale, hot air subway; traffic becomes insane with an uproar of cab hailing. The pressure of always being on the go, ordering your coffee quick enough to not piss off the person behind you, and being OK with the fact that you are going to have to touch someone on your morning commute because the train is overcrowded all starts to become too much when the temperature surpasses 90 degrees. So while Monday through Thursday we happy hour it at the Frying Pan, or get to free yoga classes after a long day…the weekend presents a different opportunity to explore a second life.

I totally get it now. When I first moved here, I couldn’t imagine leaving the city on weekends. I wanted to be here all the time. I had fallen in love. It seems as if over the years though I have learned that the city isn’t going anywhere. My whole life is here, and it will be here on Monday morning when the weekend is over as well. This summer, part of my mental health plan is getting the heck out of here! Some of my local favorite places to dart off to include the mountains in Pennsylvania, or the beaches of Rhode Island; but my most recent trip was to the Hamptons area of Long Island, specifically in the town of Amagansett. I am a coastal girl, always looking for an ocean to gaze at or some New England colonial atmosphere to soak up. My sister and I dance down the streets of Newport, Rhode Island over the simplest things like ice cream shops, and homes that were built in the 18th century. Amagansett has a charm about it that makes it another town on my list to dance down the streets of.



As I stand outside a farmers market here, I feel at peace. You would feel at peace too if you were eating the apple pie ice cream cone I was enjoying at the time. With an ice cream cone in my right hand, and my left hand scouring over the vegetables, I shop the produce that was grown just feet behind the cashier. Eastern long island is beautiful. The beaches are spotlessly clean, the farms still exist, and there are even vineyards to taste some local wine at. This trip I did all three. Only a few hours out of Manhattan, it is a country side safe haven, just perfect. Not to mention, the plum I snacked on tasted incredible. Is this what fruit tastes like when chemical sprays are not used and it didn’t travel on the back of a truck for 2 weeks? (Yes, eating local is not only healthier, it is better for the environment. And it tastes better. And provides jobs for your neighborhood….need I go on?)






In the early morning, there is the beach. Nothing beats the smell of salt water and the sound of waves crashing onto an empty beach. Since yoga has taught me how to breathe, I find myself sometimes breathing in patterns during times I am most relaxed, such as standing at the ocean. I contemplated going into a childs pose in the sand, but realized other women on the beach would assume there was some type of crazy beach yoga class about to start, and I didn’t want to go down that road.



It is amazing how a little time out of the concrete jungle in the hot summer months can completely restore you. How can I be two women in one? I don’t know, but I am. I am the country mouse and the city mouse, with many pairs of shoes. Whatever your happy place is, try and get there this summer at least once. For mental health, aim for 30 minutes of silence a day (wherever you are). Everyone has a “restore button”, and the more you hit it, the healthier you will be all the way to your core. And if any of you see me in a downward dog pose on the beach, you’ll know I caved and am having a real moment of peace for myself. That, or I am charging the women of the Hamptons to take a class of mine. Cash only. :)

*many thanks in this blog entry to my dear friend liz. Who, just like me appreciates a great view of the ocean and an ice cream cone.