Yes I am a vegetarian. Yes, everyday for the last 3 ½ years I have chosen a meatless diet. No turkey, pork, beef, chicken, or fish. My reasons for choosing this lifestyle are largely nutritionally based and of course, my own opinion. I am a very happy vegetarian. I do not, however believe that if I eat meat I am going to die, or be individually responsible for an increase in slaughter house Co2 gasses that week. I am not trying to justify my story, but I don’t want anyone thinking that I broke some major ethical codes I had previously set for myself. I am still a vegetarian, and one incident in the kitchen doesn’t change that.
I was with my good company (that’s what we will call him for now, since I don’t like to do the “names have been changed” thing) and we were watching Kansas City play Baltimore in the NFL playoffs. It was a typical lazy Sunday that had followed a fantastic brunch, but leave it to me…3 hours had gone by and I was ready to eat again. We decided on a kitchen adventure, and pulled out all the worlds finest ingredients: cooking spray, (gluten free) bread, and American cheese. We’ve taken on this recipe before; we are pretty well versed on the “grilled cheese with ketchup” dish. This time, I saw an extra ingredient hit the counter. Turkey Bacon. “Uh, you’re using bacon in yours?” I said. “It always smells so good and then I crave it. Bacon is the only meat I kind of ..miss….at times…”. He asked if I wanted any, and I replied with “of course not, no no..I can’t. But…if some were to accidentally make it into my sandwich then it wouldn’t be my fault right?” We laughed at what I thought was a clear joke. I mean, I always say things like that. I was just trying to be funny, playing the whole “what I wouldn’t give to taste bacon again” game. Or so I thought.
Since the bread slices were small, we also made the non nutritional decision to make 2 sandwiches for each of us (total of 4 sandwiches on the stove at once). We were….hungry. So it wasn’t entirely my fault when I stopped paying attention to which was what on the frying pan. Somehow, right under my nose, my co-chef placed about a 2 inch piece of bacon into one of my sandwiches. I guess all the talk and joking around really stuck with him. I don’t know how he had the courage to do this. It was a risky move that could have went terribly wrong. When we sat to eat, it was only a matter of time before I took my first bite of sodium nitrates in 3 years and well…honestly?
…I didn’t know whether to spit it out, or thank him. I am not going to pretend that bacon doesn’t taste good. It tastes awesome. Does this mean we should over eat anything and everything that simply “tastes good”? Of course not. But is a 2 inch piece of turkey bacon that someone slipped into my sandwich out of love going to kill me? I think I am OK. I bit my sandwich, and looked up. He laughed. I said “you sneak!” He laughed some more…and I said…”oh my god this tastes so good”. “It’s not your fault Jess”, he said; you didn’t know you were going to eat it, it was a kitchen error…whoops?”
Clearly…he just wanted to make sure I got what I deep down, really wanted. He is cool like that. We finished lunch, and then I went to vegetarian confession and repented. (…joke…).
(some food humor from thanksgiving season, thanks to my clinical nutrition professor who included this image in our lecture slides that week).
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